Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.
Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!
I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.
I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You hit me with a cricket bat. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!